Red Rejection

I was in the 6^th grade. For 2 weeks, I was crushing hard on this cute little red head that had been in the neighboring classroom. I would see her frequently during class switches and DAMN did those inner butterflies flutter. I had told my closest friend at the time who also agreed that she was a bonified hot babe. So there we were, sitting at recess one day, discussing my affection for her, when another friend of ours came to join the conversation.  “Frank, you should ask her out. I think she likes you”, said friend #2 who, unknowingly to me at the time, was feeding me false hopes for his own entertainment.  Being naive and love struck, I absorbed his advice and words of motivation like a sponge as I commenced to pop the question. My heart began to race as I approached her. My palms were drenched in sweat and something inside my gut began to twitch uncontrollably. I probably should have listened to it. I approached her while she was sitting with one other friend, chatting about some form of girlishly nonsense. “Hey (Chick's Name), will you go out with me??” trembled the words of a little boy longing for romance but drenched in fear. She blushed. I stood there for 3 seconds of silence which seemed to last 3 years. “No I am sorry, I can’t.” Rejected. I did not know what to do. Was I supposed to cry? Was I supposed to laugh as if it were a joke? Or was I suppose to keep debating with her on why she should go out with me? I turned around and sat back down with my friends. To my surprise, over 20 people witnessed the show and began to question me if I seriously just asked her out and why. I felt like crying but I did not. I think it was because I really liked the attention. I liked the fact that an intense interest in the life of little scrawny Frank had sparked in the hearts, minds, and souls of my peers.  I may have been rejected. But I had built up the courage to do what many could not do in a million years. A few select people teased me on how I was rejected but I turned it into a joke and laughed it off with them. In class after lunch, my cute red head teacher had asked me in front of the entire class if the rumors were true, that I had been rejected and all. I replied with a question, “Miss B., will you go out with me?” The classroom at that point had exploded into an out roar of hyena laughs. I went from the reject to the funny reject. 

          To this day, I have explored all kinds of woman from all ethnic backgrounds, races, heights, weights, only one gender, and only those of the human species. But to this day, my success rate with red heads is close to 0%. They say that people long for things that they do not get enough of.  I am not saying I have some weird fetish for those of the firery hair colored genera. Maybe I just want to know, do the curtains match the carpet?